Here is the thing, okay? Coming into a feminist conversation with, “Have you considered that sometimes women acquire free drinks at bars?” is like walking into graduate school during Philosophy finals and saying, “Have you considered that the color blue that I see may not be the color blue that you see?”
Imagine you are the guy who just walked into that Philosophy class and laid that shit down. Imagine the class full of students who have worked very hard and committed themselves and sacrificed to be here, students who have spent several years of their lives learning about this subject. Imagine now their feelings when you go to the head of the classroom with a smirk on your face and demand the professor give you an A for effort. Imagine now that they think you are a douchebag asshole, because they do, and because you are. You are a douchebag asshole because you are obviously so self-centered, arrogant, and completely ignorant of the world around you, that you thought you could walk into a high-level course with no background and no work and say something profoundly simplistic and totally unrelated and also everybody should congratulate you for having done this thing, so brave, so provocative.
You are not asking us a real question. You are simply illustrating, for all to see, your own ignorance. You are saying, “I have not considered the implications of the question I have just asked. I have not taken the time nor effort nor commitment to sit down and ask myself this question. Instead, I have come into your philosophy classroom/office/feminist blog and shat out my question with a smirk, because I believe that my two seconds of thought are worth more than your long-term analysis, because I believe I am worth more.”
“Those who subvert social norms are, ostensibly, people who have forgotten that they can be seen, publicly, at any time. Therefore, when they transgress social norms—by expressing physical affection for a person not visibly coded as the opposite sex, for example, or by being fat and rejecting social and bodily invisibility—they need to be reminded of this omniscient social gaze, and in the absence of institutional discipline, must be punished so they do not transgress again. This is the mechanism by which a dude who sees me in a vividly-colored dress, walking alone as though I either don’t know or don’t care that I am defying bodily norms, feels compelled to scream “UGLY FAT BITCH” at me. He is applying social discipline and teaching me a lesson: Everyone can see you, and your body and/or behavior are unacceptable.”—So Michel Foucault and Jeremy Bentham walk into an elementary school cafeteria* via the Two Whole Cakes blog by Lesley Kinzel (via transformfeminism)
“The Way It Was”: Abortion in the US before Roe v. Wade.
I was thinking about this article and this is really one of my favourite articles ever. Really powerful.
This article is horribly gruesome, but worse of all it’s so horribly true.
That year in the 1960s, several thousand American women were treated in emergency rooms for botched abortions, and there were at least 200 known deaths. “The deaths stopped overnight in 1973.” He never saw another in the 18 years before he retired. “That,” he says, “ought to tell people something about keeping abortion legal.
Bodies are hairy. No matter the gender, your face will have hair and that is more than okay.
Your butthole is going to have some hair too. And maybe your nipples. And your tummy. And where ever else.
Stretch marks. Those are a thing. Everyone gets ‘em. If you don’t, you probably don’t have skin.
Vaginas smell. Every vagina has a scent. Don’t worry about it! (Unless something seems wrong, then go get it checked out! No need to feel embarrassed or ashamed.)
Vaginas come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
Penises come in all different shapes, sizes, colors, flavors. All are beautiful.
You don’t need to shave anything if you don’t want to. It’s tooootally not mandatory.
Sometimes people get butt acne.
You can have a vagina and want short hair and think dresses are just the worst.
You can have a penis and want long hair and think dresses are just the best.
You can wear whatever you want and style your hair however you want.
You can even think whatever the hell you want.
People might tell you that you are a girl because you have a vagina. People might tell you that you are a boy because you have a penis. People will tell you what your gender is. But in reality, you don’t have to be that gender. You don’t have to be either of those genders.
You are what you are and it’s just the worst thing if you try and hide that.
“I’m learning that the secret of relationships… and not just with people, but with everything around us and within us… is to follow the mystery. To stay curious about where things could go if we stayed loose and did not harden out of fear. This openness is vulnerable. It’s dangerous. It could yield unwanted results. And it’s also an immense declaration of Trust. The kind of Trust that sustains power, that fuels decades of togetherness, that claims confidence and births reckless joy.”— Rachael Maddox, Honor Your Rock (via provocatoria)